Some of the things we think will make us happy, or ought to make us happy… actually don’t, at least not in the long term. Things like lots of money, a promotion at work, more travel, more possessions, an ideal appearance, and other ways that people sometimes measure a successful life… don’t always make for a happy life, after all. Study after study shows that happiness and fulfillment in life aren’t found in these kinds of tangible things that we so often strive for. 

It turns out that the happiest people have one thing in common: personal connections to other human beings. It’s our relationships that make for a happy and fulfilled life.

In other words, the happiest people aren’t the ones who have the most money or fame, achieve the most impressive job titles, accumulate the most stuff, are the most attractive, or go to the most exciting places. It turns out that the happiest people have one thing in common: personal connections to other human beings. It’s our relationships that make for a happy and fulfilled life. 

Many studies have come to this same conclusion, including the longest global study on happiness ever performed, which began nearly 90 years ago with hundreds of participants, and resulted in a recent book that discusses the findings: The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. One especially encouraging part of this study is the finding that overall happiness from relationships was found in many ways: “Relationships in all their forms—friendships, romantic partnerships, families, coworkers, tennis partners, book club members, Bible study groups—all contribute to a happier, healthier life.” And even better, the researchers found that “it’s never too late to strengthen the relationships you already have, and never too late to build new ones” (publisher’s notes). 

Human connections truly matter—to all of us: men and women, babies through the very old, introverts and extroverts, and people of all backgrounds and from all geographic areas. But in our digital age, and particularly since the pandemic of 2020 and beyond, human isolation is more common than ever before. 

It’s not always easy to find friends or build connections as an adult, and many don’t know where to begin. One great place to begin is right outside your front door.

But isolation isn’t good for us. Humans are social creatures, and research has shown what many of us already know intuitively: we are meant to have meaningful relationships with others. For some people, this comes easily, and they have many friends and other close relationships they can rely on in all seasons of life. For others, though, the path to human connection is more difficult. It’s not always easy to find friends or build connections as an adult, and many don’t know where to begin. 

One great place to begin is right outside your front door. 

Your neighborhood is filled with ready-made connections and possible friendships simply due to your proximity to the other people on your block, up the street, or over the fence. Ideally, that proximity means that you have more frequent contact with those neighbors and, over time, that ongoing contact can lead to deeper relationships and genuine care for one another. Even if you don’t seem to have a lot in common on the surface, you all live in the same neighborhood, and that’s one shared experience that may lead to more! 

But no matter how much you have in common (or don’t) with your neighbors, when you simply take an interest in one another’s lives, that in itself is a positive step in the direction of friendship.

But no matter how much you have in common (or don’t) with your neighbors, when you simply take an interest in one another’s lives, that in itself is a positive step in the direction of friendship. It’s an opportunity to get to know people whom you might not have met otherwise. 

And the people who live right in your vicinity are among the ones you see most often in day-to-day life. That sounds like the perfect setup to develop the human connections we all need for our overall well-being. 

So, the next time you’re outside (and try to do this more often if you don’t get out there much!), take a moment to make contact with the neighbors around you. Try to go beyond just mentioning the weather, and make a kind comment about their pets or children, ask friendly questions about their gardening or home repairs, compliment something you’ve noticed about their outdoor decorations or landscaping, or ask for a recommendation for a need you have. Or you could mention something about your own life, such as a new family member or pet, an upcoming celebration or event, recent home repairs, or a job change.  The great thing about connecting with others is that the more you do it, the easier it becomes, and the closer you are to having meaningful relationships with people who live nearby. 

***One way to deepen your neighborhood relationships is celebrating National Good Neighbor Day on September 28th. Go to NationalGoodNeighborDay.org for ideas!