Moving is hard, especially moving to a city you have no connection to. When I made the move from Durham, North Carolina, to Philadelphia, it was a massive culture shock. But one that I’m glad I experienced, because it taught me how to be more connected to my community. And be a better neighbor in the process.

Growing up, I mostly kept to myself, interacting with neighbors on a very surface level, with small talk being the extent of our conversations. Moving to Philly encouraged me to become an active participant in my neighborhood, working to connect neighbors with resources, and taking part in welcoming efforts for people new to the block.

Along this journey, I picked up a few tips about how to keep yourself engaged in unfamiliar territory.  I’ve found these pointers to be helpful as I’ve shifted from a newbie on the block to a member of the community. So, even if you’re not making a drastic move, I hope these will benefit you as well:

Adopt a “Yes, and…” Mentality: A common phrase in improvisational comedy, this mentality can help you connect to your neighbors. “Yes, and…” means taking what someone gives you and running with it. It’s far too easy to dismiss new things and stay within your comfort zone: your social networks, your hobbies, your current lifestyle. I’ve found it to be a wonderful gift to take what people give you and run with it. Anyone with a passing familiarity with Philly understands that it’s a sports town — it’s next to impossible to find someone who isn’t an Eagles or Phillies fan. As someone who didn’t grow up interested in sports, it initially felt odd to accept invitations to watch games. But, looking back, I’m so glad that I accepted those offers — it granted me the opportunity to find a new love in baseball, while building bonds with neighbors in the process.

Be a Learner and Receiver: Everyone has a skill, a piece of knowledge, or a gift that you yourself don’t possess. Connecting with your neighbors means recognizing that, and being open to learn when you’re lost, unsure, or confused. As a shy, bookish person, I was a little taken aback by one of my brash and talkative neighbors who took me under her wing.  But her deep knowledge of the city has helped me navigate my way out of a problem or two. In return, she loved the weekly baking lessons that I’d provide her. And, as a result, a long-lasting friendship was born.

Stay true to your roots, but don’t be afraid to change: You have your own skills, knowledge, and gifts that others don’t — embrace them! It’s easy to become a little too open to change, so remember to stay true to yourself. I’m big on hospitality and was known for being a great host back home. There’s no reason to abandon that side of my personality, even if hosting a large dinner party is more difficult in Philly’s narrow rowhomes. All it took was a little creative thinking to embrace smaller efforts, like moving a conversation from my stoop to my kitchen for a cup of tea and some homemade cookies.

Embrace the Three C’s: Courage, Curiosity, and Compassion:

It takes courage to open up to new people and “put yourself out there” with your neighbors. It’s one of those things you can do, though.  After all, you’ve shown courage throughout your life, and this is just a different way of applying it! Courage is foundational for the other C’s – it’s hard to be curious about people if you’re afraid to connect with them. Curiosity is key; you need to approach with an open mind (see “Adopt a ‘Yes, and…’ Mentality”) and be willing to roll with what a person gives you. Compassion is the final important C; you should be able to care for your neighbors and exhibit some brotherly love for them.

Whether you’re new to your neighborhood, or just want to connect with more people, reaching out can be intimidating. But don’t worry — you’re not struggling with this alone. In fact, most people don’t always feel comfortable making the first move when it comes to meeting others in their communities. But, by shifting your mindset a bit, you can expand your horizons and start connecting with your neighbors!